Showing posts with label Scotch Egg. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Scotch Egg. Show all posts

Monday, 26 December 2011

Food Hangover.


I feel quite sick. The smell of boiled vegetables and roast dinners seems to have permeated the entire house and has definitely got into the soft furnishings. That, coupled with Dave's ongoing 'digestive issues' means that the house smells like a 40 bed nursing home at dinner time.
We have two fridges and both are full of cold meat, bread sauce, roast potato's, gravy, pate, stuffing, mashed swede, parsnips, sprouts and cauliflower cheese. The freezer is full and I can't even face eating any more crisps-normally one of my favourites.
Added to this both fridges have decided to go worryingly 'warm' despite the setting being on 'coldest'.  Well, it wouldn't be Christmas without the very real risk of Salmonella, would it?

My stomach feels and looks like an overinflated Space hopper and I can't face the discomfort of wearing real trousers so today I have opted for a pair of Dave's thermal leggings, complete with 'Y' front (handy for storing hankies in). I'm rocking a chic Boxing Day look, let me tell you. Some women may have spent Boxing Day wafting around in a haze of Chanel. Me? well I can't seem to shake off the smell of boiled sprouts and duck fat.


We had a lovely Christmas dinner and it seems ungrateful to moan but I have had enough Festive Fare now. I hate to say it, given my aversion to wasting food, but I can understand why people throw a lot away at this time of year. Once Christmas Day has passed, eating leftovers is a really unattractive prospect that you just want out of the way quickly, like paying the Council Tax or a tooth extraction.
The trick is to buy and cook less and I must remember this next year.

Dave's parents very generously gave us £50 towards our Christmas food shop, which they do each year. That should be ample, but oh no, I had to spend extra on crackers and pate and 1kg of sprouts (for two of us...), and about 8kg of potato's (sprouting shoots as we speak), Quality Street and 600g of Stilton and Cheeselets and double cream as well as part baked rolls (why?), Wensleydale with cranberries, After Eights and for some mysterious reason, a Yule Log.

I'm just glad that I listened to Dave when he said that if I went ahead and made the Scotch eggs and sausage rolls as well, the massive hit of salt and saturated fat could lead to a stroke. You could end up spending Christmas in a bed next to Prince Philip. I think that if I woke up and and saw him I'd assume that I'd died in the ambulance of a pork overdose and been dropped off at the mortuary. 


Only about 4lbs left.
I can guarantee that none of the food will go to waste. We may not enjoy eating it, but eat it we will. If it wasn't for the dodgy fridge I would happily 'gift' some to our neighbours Helen and Rick, but I wouldn't want to take the risk as they are quite elderly, so their immune systems may be compromised. I don't want them on a drip next to Philip over the New Year.

As an aside I will pass on this gem of veterinery science. Lurchers cannot digest chesnuts. We have the stains on the carpet to prove it.


Moving on, do people really go for a walk after their Christmas dinner? This event is talked about by various TV and radio pundits over the Festive season as if it's something that everyone does. Well not in my experience. It sounds very jolly, bracing and Middle Class and you hear the likes of John Humphrys and Jeremy Vine spouting on about 'walking off' their dinner on Christmas Day, but does anyone really do it? If they do, I marvel at their stamina as after Christmas dinner I'm usually slumped on the sofa in a food and alcohol induced coma. If I ventured out in that state I'd risk being arrested or run over. The closest I've got to a Christmas Day walk is a slow waddle to the toilet and back.

I watched the TV footage of the 'sales' today. Despite reports that no one has any money the shops were packed and a Mall manager in Leeds said that customers had been queueing there all night. What can you want that much?
I really don't understand it. I will ponder it further, but I haven't eaten for at least 45 minutes so first I have to make myself a roast potato, sprout and ham sandwich in order to keep my strength up...

Thursday, 17 November 2011

Scotch Egg anyone?

I am a bit of a Div when it comes to technology. In fact I am rubbish at it. Rather recklessly, I thought that as I am on the computer a lot at the moment it would be nice to be 'wireless'. With help from the people on  MSE Forums  I have been able to:

1-Ascertain that my laptop 'does' wireless.
2-Get a new wireless router from my ISP.

The router arrived today and it was all going really well until I tried to connect to the wireless network or some such. Computer says 'No'.
It is so frustrating trying to do something when you haven't a clue what you are doing. We didn't get taught computers, or 'IT' in my day. You may find it hard to believe, but I am entirely self-taught.

So my  visions of me typing away on the sofa in front of the fire this evening have come to nothing and I'm sat by the phone connection in the unheated dining room.

Talking of education I was in my local supermarket this morning along with several groups of school children.
I was amazed at the amount of food and drink that they were buying. Expensive stuff too. Posh energy drinks (personally if something is blue, I don't swallow it), massive bags of crisps, hot chickens, hot pies and sausage rolls, packets of biscuits and, rather oddly I thought, several packets of Scotch Eggs. And each kid had handfuls of stuff. I also noticed that they much preferred to use the Self Service checkouts. Not sure why, perhaps it's trendy.

Firstly, how much must this cost and how do the parents afford it? Secondly, why weren't they at lessons? and thirdly, are they really that hungry?

One of these and you won't be wanting any hot chicken
Anyway, I was struck by how uninspiring the manufactured  Scotch Eggs looked, so when I got home I cooked up a batch. I coated them with oats as I couldn't be bothered to make breadcrumbs, but I think they look quite splendid. They are huge and heavy and taste like an eggy faggot, (faggots are one of my favourite foods so anything a bit faggotty is fine by me).

Maybe I should look into setting up a Scotch Egg stall near the supermarket. Who knows, perhaps I could  relieve the kiddies of a few of those tenners they seem to have so many of....?